


our secret.mp3

by wurin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Idol Lee Taeyong, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29382381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wurin/pseuds/wurin
Summary: Their relationship could remain a secret forever and Taeyong wouldn’t care.Well, or so he thought.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 14
Kudos: 190
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	our secret.mp3

It’s not a secret. Or maybe it is.

It’s not a secret for him, that’s for sure. But if he’s the only one who knows about it, then it must be a secret. And his manager totally doesn’t count. His manager knows how many times he buys underwear in a month because he just keeps leaving all of them at Doyoung’s apartment, so he surely doesn’t count. Of course, Doyoung knows it, the secret wouldn’t even exist if Doyoung wasn’t in his life.

So it’s a secret. It definitely is. Even when sometimes Taeyong wishes it really wasn’t. When interviewers ask him questions like _what are you looking for in a possible girlfriend?_ to feed his fans’ fantasies and Taeyong just wants to sigh and tell them he’s not looking for a girlfriend because he already has a _boyfriend_. But he can’t say those words, so it’s always something along the lines of _someone who would understand me and… I’d just want to make each other happy_ , which is not a lie, Taeyong thinks it for real. The lie is that he already has someone and their name is Kim Doyoung, youngest son of the CEO of his agency. And that’s one of the reasons why the whole thing is a secret.

The other reason is that Taeyong’s contract has a dating ban, which could be erased if Doyoung pulled the right strings, in the end, he’s the CEO’s son and he works for the agency too, but Taeyong doesn’t let him. It’s not that he doesn’t want Doyoung to do it, because he wants to, he _really_ wants to have dinner with the other at nice restaurants without having to worry about cameras or just walk inside Doyoung’s apartment building without having to cover his whole face first. But in the end, he never voices it out. He knows that the moment their relationship will be out in the open, ready to be devoured by all of his fans and netizens, he’ll be perceived as someone who got where he is thanks to favoritism and bribing, and not thanks to his own hard work and talent. So Taeyong prefers not having those nice nights out, or to just answer with a smile when interviewers tell him he’s a man girls dream of.

After years, Taeyong wants to say he got used to it and that it doesn’t bother him like it did, but it’d be a lie, and yet, he still had to get used to it someway, even if it makes him feel so small and helpless. But there’s a thought that always reassures him. The thought that no matter what, no matter what he has to go through during the day, the words he has to hear and the ones he has to say, at night, Doyoung will be there with him. He will hold him close to his chest and Taeyong will forget about everything else. It will be just the two of them, and even if they’re the only ones who know about their love, it’s enough. Taeyong doesn’t need anything else if he has Doyoung.

Their relationship could remain a secret forever and Taeyong wouldn’t care.

Well, or so he thought.

**∷**

Of course, because that’s just how his life is, the only free day he has after more than a month full of schedules is disturbed by his phone ringing.

Taeyong should blame his past-self for forgetting to put his phone into silent mode the night before, but everyone, _literally_ everyone knows it’s his free day and that they shouldn’t bother him, even if the world’s going to end in a matter of seconds Taeyong doesn’t want to know. He prefers dying in his sleep, thank you very much.

He groans, and even if he cuts the call to make the phone stop ringing, he already feels too awake to go back to sleep. When he reaches his hand towards the other side of his bed, he realises that Doyoung’s not there, which means it’s later than Taeyong thought and Doyoung must be already at work, but still. He really wanted to cuddle.

“Fuck my life,” he whispers in the silence of the room, and at least there’s Bubu —his cat that after Doyoung entered his life became their cat— that hops on his bed and nuzzles him. Taeyong’s hand moves on his fur, fingers running through it and he just stays there, basking in the morning light and relaxing.

“Did Appa feed you?” he asks, and at first, calling Doyoung like that when talking to Bubu almost made him cringe, but day after day, he realised he actually started to love it more than he should have and he just went with it. When Doyoung hears it he pretends like Taeyong isn’t talking about him or he just laughs his awkward laugh. Taeyong loves it even more.

Bubu purrs, brushing his head against Taeyong’s hand and Taeyong takes it as a yes. Feeding Bubu is the first thing Doyoung does as soon as he wakes up, he doesn’t even go to the bathroom before, and Taeyong finds it cute. How much Doyoung loves Bubu is something he could’ve never imagined.

It’s then that his phone starts to ring again, and with a sigh, Taeyong answers.

“What?” he says into the phone, not bothered enough to check who it is. He’ll find out soon anyway.

“ _Did you just wake up?_ ” his manager asks him, and Taeyong has known him for years, so he can immediately feel something’s not right. He can hear it in his voice. He doesn’t sound extremely worried, but he’s not calm either.

“What happened?” he asks back, sitting up on the bed, the sudden movement almost sends Bubu on the floor.

“ _Ah, don’t worry_ ,” his manager says, and the words make him worry even more. After years, his manager hasn’t still learnt that if he’s told not to worry, he’ll only worry more. “ _Nothing can be confirmed because there’s no actual proof_.”

Taeyong can feel his own heart beat in his throat, not even when he performs it beats so quickly and he’s scared it will just break out of his chest.

“Hyung,” he whines, fingers around Bubu’s fur tighter than they should be, “tell me what’s happening.”

Deep down, Taeyong already knows what it is all about, it doesn’t take much to understand, but he wants to hear the words first, and then he can lie down on the bed and pretend he’s not Lee Taeyong, a best-selling solo artist in South Korea, but just Taeyong, Bubu’s Appa and Doyoung’s boyfriend.

“ _Some fans started spreading a rumour on Twitter, but we’re quickly working on shutting everything down_ ,” his manager starts to explain, and Taeyong knows how the story will end, but he doesn’t say anything and just lets the other speak. “ _It’s about you breaking your contract rules and dating someone, but— but like I said, there’s no proof, no photos or videos, it’s just our words against theirs_.”

Taeyong sighs, eyes closed, and tightens his grip on Bubu’s fur a little more, not enough to make it painful, but just enough to be comfortable for Bubu and reassuring for Taeyong. Bubu meows, his little head brushes against his naked thigh and Taeyong almost wants to cry, both for Bubu understanding he needs comfort and for the situation.

“Are you sure?” he asks under his breath, almost afraid his manager will tell him that he was lying, that they have proof of him and Doyoung dating. “Hyung, please, tell me you’re sure they don’t have anything and that in one hour there won’t be pictures of me and Doyoung together all over the internet.”

It’s not the first time something like this happens, Taeyong would be too lucky if after years of being in the industry it was the first time that fans tried to transform rumours into real facts, but it has never been like this. It was never about something so personal, even if there’s no proof, they still planted the seed and netizens don’t need anything else. They don’t need proofs, pictures or videos, they only need the same words said by more than one person.

“ _We’re sure, Taeyong, there’s no proof and we’re working on denying everything_ ,” his manager tries to reassure him, “ _I contacted Mr. Kim and told him about what happened, he told me to tell you he’s coming to your apartment_.”

Taeyong nods, and only after a few moments he realises his manager can’t see him. “Okay, hyung,” he tells him, “thank you.”

As soon as he ends the call, Taeyong knows he should hide his phone somewhere his eyes can’t see it, but he’s too weak to do it and seconds later, he’s already searching his name up.

There are less articles than he was expecting, but he’s sure more will come soon, probably waiting for the actual proofs to come out.

Taeyong clicks on the first that pops up in the searches.

**[A.KPOP-NEWS]** **TAEYONG, everything we know about the latest rumour and KM Ent. response**

 _On_ _January 28, there has been a commotion in the online community as some newly-created accounts that appeared to be TAEYONG’s fan accounts claimed TAEYONG is currently breaking his contract rules and dating someone. No proof was posted, but the Tweets spread quickly and in a matter of hours they reached the whole community. Soon after, some Netizens started to analyze TAEYONG’s contents in search of something that could confirm or deny the rumour. Meanwhile, KM Ent. was quick with a response, they denied everything and assured something that will explain the situation better and clear up everything will be posted soon._ _[click to read more.]_

↑19,932 **VOTE** 17,678↓

**TOP COMMENTS**

@tyonglee: _taeyong’s one of the most genuine artists out there, stop trying to drag him down just because your favs aren’t as talented and caring as he is!! we’re talking about his private life here and even if he’s dating someone, you’re no one so mind your business!!_

@t.yong.95: _so what if he’s dating someone??? he’s a person too, he’s not a robot created to please his fans and do whatever they want! let him live his personal life in peace!!!_

@waewt.7: _km contracts have a dating ban so i’m sure it’s only a rumour because if it were real his agency would’ve posted about it first and besides, they already posted a statement, there’s nothing more to say about this thing._

_[click for more comments.]_

Taeyong sighs, the comments and the response in general aren’t as bad as he thought they would’ve been, but there are so many other comments he’s not sure he wants to read, that he knows they won’t be as nice as the top ones. There will be always someone who thinks that only because he’s famous they can talk about him however they like, as if they know him, and make all the assumptions they want.

That’s how Doyoung finds him when he enters his bedroom. Still sitting up in his bed, reading everything he can find about the situation and trying not to let the hurtful and ugly words get to his head. It’s something Taeyong will never stop doing, no matter how much he wishes he could. It almost feels like a drug, searching up his name and reading all the good and bad things strangers say on the internet, but most of the time, it’s always the bad that sticks with him.

Taeyong doesn’t even realise Doyoung’s there, he does when the other takes his phone away from his hand and, “Just stop,” he whispers.

Taeyong looks up at him, almost startled to find him there. Doyoung’s wearing a suit, of course he’s wearing a suit, he was at the agency, and he looks a bit out of breath, his face redder than it should be, as if he didn’t wait for the elevator and just climbed the stairs for eight floors.

“Yeah,” he whispers back, looking down on his hands, Bubu’s still by his side, as close as he can to his leg, but it seems like he’s asleep. “I just—”

Taeyong wants to find a reason why he was doing it, but he knows there isn’t any, that it’s just something he does without thinking. He hates not knowing what’s being said about him, but he hates reading those words and thinking that it was better not knowing even more. And yet, it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, how many times he tells himself he won’t do it anymore, in the end, he’s just lying to himself.

“Taeyong,” Doyoung says, soft, and just his name said by the other is enough to comfort him, to make him feel a bit better. “You should really stop doing that, I know it’s hard, but it hurts you.”

Taeyong nods, and then, Doyoung sits down on the bed, takes Taeyong’s legs and places them on his lap. His hands are warm on his naked skin, and even if the bedroom is warm enough for him to wear only a t-shirt, the touch makes him shiver.

“The agency took care of it and they’re already working on suing who did it,” Doyoung tells him, and sometimes Taeyong forgets how much the other knows about his career, how much he’s involved. “You don’t have to worry.”

He knows Doyoung’s reassuring him, that Taeyong isn’t the only one who has something to lose if their relationship gets outed. Doyoung’s the CEO’s son and Taeyong’s just an employee, probably Doyoung would be the one who’d lose more. It’s not Doyoung’s fault they have to keep it a secret, he _knows_ , and yet, he can’t stop his next words.

“This time they didn’t have proof, but what about the next? What if they have a picture, or worse, a video? What are we going to do then?” Taeyong doesn’t have the courage to look up, so he just keeps his eyes fixed on a loose thread of his shirt and his fingers gripped around the bed sheets.

It’s not the first time they talk about it, that they argue about it, there will be many other times, and yet, it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“What do you mean?” Doyoung asks, his voice’s calm, but Taeyong knows he’s hurt too. “You’re saying you’d prefer breaking up rather than living like that?”

“Don’t put words I didn’t say into my mouth,” he mutters under his breath. Doyoung knows he doesn’t like when someone does that, he knows he hates it, and yet, he still did it. A voice in his head tells him the other did it without realising, that it’s just the anger of the moment and he would never do it to hurt him, but Taeyong ignores it.

“Yeah, you didn’t say them, but maybe you wanted to,” Doyoung says, and Taeyong looks up, meeting the other’s eyes, surprised by his words.

“Don’t assume things, you’re not in my head,” he tells him, trying not to raise his voice, or get up and just leave, not wanting to argue anymore.

“Then let me! Just tell me what you’re really thinking, why we’re arguing about this when we could forget about it and just be more careful,” the other tries to reason with him, but even if between the two of them, Doyoung could be the one who would lose the most, Taeyong’s still the one who has to face everyone and pretend he’s fine with the way all the eyes on him feel like they want to eat him up, how they’re ready to catch even his smallest mistake and make it thousand times bigger.

“Because I’m tired! I’m tired, Doyoung, and I know you are too,” Taeyong argues back, he can feel his eyes watering, but he doesn’t want to cry. “I love you, I really do, but it’s tiring.”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything, he just looks away to the side, where the window is.

At the other’s reaction to his words, Taeyong realises he hasn’t voiced out his thoughts in the best way, that said it like that, it really sounds like he wants to break up. But breaking up with Doyoung is something he would never do willingly.

“I’m not saying I want to break up with you,” Taeyong adds then, calmer, “You know I love you too much to even think it could be an option, but there must be something we can do to make it a little better, to give ourselves a rest.”

“There is,” Doyoung says, loud enough, “and I know you won’t agree with it, but it’s the only option we have.”

Taeyong doesn’t need more words to understand what Doyoung’s talking about.

“The dating ban,” he whispers once Doyoung looks back at him. Doyoung nods, and his fingers squeeze the flesh of his thigh.

Taeyong sighs, he knew the day would’ve come, but he has always hoped it would’ve come as late as possible into his career.

“I know you didn’t want to do it, but it’s—”

“It’s okay, Doie,” Taeyong cuts the other off, “if I have you by my side, I can do it.”

Doyoung smiles at him, it’s nothing big, but its sight warms him. Taeyong smiles back.

“I love you too, but you already knew that.”

Taeyong smiles even more. Yeah, he already knew that, but being reminded about it never hurts.

**∷**

**[A.KPOP-NEWS] Is KM Ent. working on erasing the dating ban from their artists’ contracts?**

_On March 26, almost two months after the rumour about TAEYONG breaking the rules of his contract and dating someone spread, some of his fans found out through sources not confirmed yet that KM Ent. is working on new contracts that won’t have a dating ban anymore. Some Netizens are convinced it isn’t a coincidence this is happening only after the rumour about TAEYONG spread—_ _[click to read more.]_

**[TAB CLOSED.]**

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed it! 💘
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/TAEYUKHEl) \- [cc](https://curiouscat.me/wurin)


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